My Life as A Radical Whore/Madonna

Okay - so almost a week ago, I went to see Ms. Ani DiFranco at the Chicago Theater (MANY THANKS TO ALICIA!), and as usual it was awesome. There were marimbas. And the baby belly has not as-of-yet impeded any rocking out. I was totally sick and sneezing and blowing my nose, but I couldn’t miss it - I mean, how many chances will I get to see Ani perform pregnant? Who knows, but I’m glad I went. Everytime I go see her live, it reminds me why after so many years (10 now), I’m still totally into Ani DiFranco.

So any haters out there can bite it, ’cause I don’t care what you say. Ani rocks the fuck out. Seriously though, it still trips me out how some people go way out of their way to hate on Ani DiFranco. The vitriol is thick and seemingly unnecessary - I think it’s a lot of latent sexism and anti-feminism. But this is the deal: She calls out the criminal acts of the U.S. gov’t administration live, onstage, with or without musical accompaniment. She gives back to her communities (in Buffalo, NY, and in New Orleans), and encourages others to do so. She’s an activist. She calls out the systemic racism in this country. She advocates feminism, and calls out the bullshit capitalist patriarchy. How many musicians are total anti-social assholes, who do nothing for anyone and no one cares? Besides which, I personally enjoy her music. If you don’t like her music, that’s fine. But she’s an artist who’s been making work consistently, working with all kinds of musicians, developing her sound, touring and making albums practically nonstop. That deserves respect. She’s doing it. She stands up and represents. I think it’s pretty fucking bad-ass.

I got out my old copy of ‘Not A Pretty Girl’ that I bought when I was still in high school, which I hadn’t listened to in years. I put it on, and goddamn if I didn’t enjoy it as much as ever. More so, kind of, since I no longer hold the associations of all the high school bullshit that used to be tied up in all of the song lyrics for me. I danced around in front of Stella, who always appreciates dancing, and had a fine time. I love going back to things and seeing what new meaning they hold. That’s why I like to read books over and over again over the years. As my vocabulary expands, I learn more and more about the work.

I haven’t blogged in a while, huh? Life is good. My new thing is anti-bias education. That’s a big part of what I’m doing in my internship. See my newest blog for more info (antibias.wordpress.com). I’m determined to use these tools to change the world. It’s overwhelming though, the kind of thing that can test relationships. When I talk to my friends about it, a lot of the time their eyes seem to glaze over, though they nod and smile. Not many people like to talk about the bias that is intrinsic to all of our lives and how it lies between us, even the best of friends. Alas, good work is worth doing, even if it’s hard work. Even if it makes my friends somewhat uncomfortable.

It’s nice to be back in academic/professional life. It’s interesting to do it with baby in tow. All institutions involved have been very accomodating - I’ve taken Stella to my internship when I needed to, she’s becoming a regular at my school library, and she attends the first 15 minutes or so of each of my group seminar meetings and it’s been all good. I’m doing it. I’ve got the family and I’ll have the degree. Any parent out there who’s in the world of work or school or whatever takes you out of the home - whenever you have the opportunity, do what you can to support parents taking their kids to work or school or whatever. So many things are possible for working parents if you just reach out and lend a little support. The world is changing - we need to make more room for families to express their creativity and productivity in more ways. Everyone wins.

Oh - for any knitters learning to knit: Talking on the phone with Amanda, I discovered something really cool - KnittingHelp.com! It has actual video of how to execute knitting techniques. I heart the internet!

Anyway - I need to get some food in me and do something to get ready for the arrival of my superawesome sister-in-law. I’ll try to write again soon - as ever, it’s a challenge. But it’s important to stay connected, so I’ll make the effort. In the meantime, go dig out an old CD or mix tape and groove it up in a new way. Or learn to knit! Have fun!

Love,

Atena

I never thought twice about the man behind Girls Gone Wild ’til this morning. Then Susie Bright led me here:

LA Times, Girls Gone Wild producer & Anger Management

You must read this. You must read the whole thing, to the last lines.

Can you say, ‘Entitlement?’

But after reading this I think that maybe Ms. Hoffman of the LA Times proves that the pen is indeed mightier.

Atena

So - last week I said:
Consider it a homework assignment: Say something, make some vocal statement or visible action about how you feel. Dissent must been heard or seen if it’s going to make any difference. If no one hears it or sees it, then it can’t do anyone any good. Say something to someone who may not or does not agree. Let someone know that you agree with them. We have to connect. I give you a week to complete this assignment. Everyone who completes it gets an ‘A’. Creativity earns an ‘A+ ‘.

Well, the due date was last Friday, but I generously extended the assignment, and now I wanna see what you all have been doing/saying to express your dissatisfaction with what’s happening in our country and the world at large (assuming that you are dissatisfied, which you should be).

But fair’s fair - I’ll report mine first:

Honestly, after I put this out there I had no real idea what to do. Blogging has been my way of getting ideas out into the world. So finding a way to get a clear, visible message out to people in my daily circles, face-to-face, was a bit of a conundrum. Well, I ended up going the DIY, put your politics-where-your-body-is-route. My first thought was to write something in permanent ink across my forehead. I was seriously considering doing it in time for a birthday party we were going to, but I forgot. Then I realized I didn’t necessarily feel good about Sharpie pen chemicals leaching into my breastmilk through my skin. I know that our bodies are absorbing all kinds of chemicals all of the time, but I’ll do what I can to lessen the load.

So I on my way to go for a walk with a mamabuddy of mine, I quickly (but legibly) drew some pro-love, anti-killing slogans on medical tape, and then taped them across a few of the more prominent parts of my body (i.e. breasts, butt and back). The slogans included:

‘OPPOSE the SLAUGHTER of ANY Innocent Humans!!!’
‘There is value in every life’
‘Love can be radical action’
‘It is WRONG to kill innocent people in any circumstance’

I had my buddy Andrea take pics with her camera phone, but the images haven’t reached my inbox yet. I’ll post them as soon as they come through. The images make the account more interesting, but it’s the action that matters.

It felt good to have my feelings out there for people to see, though I kept forgetting I was wearing them while we were out among people. They didn’t garner any negative responses. I would have liked someone to have asked me about them, though. Alas - perhaps I sparked some dialog in someone else’s world. Sometimes we don’t get to know if we’ve made a difference.

So, now, where’s your homework? What have you all been doing? I really want to hear some tales of vocal, visible dissent - share your stories!

Atena

Today is a very nice day so far, though when I first got up, I realized about halfway through Stella’s breakfast that I was so tired. I tried putting music on, that didn’t really help. I eventually had to get up and out - Stella and I went for a walk while her Papa slumbered peacefully, got a nice masala chai on ice from the local café, and strolled about the neighborhood. We tried a new playground (which was nice - lots of running around room and tall, older trees), and eventually, the caffeine kicked in, and I woke up.

I’ve been reading a lot of blogs this week - it’s turned into a bit of a low-grade addiction. There’s so freakin’ many, just infinite blogoshpere - I love it. I love that there’s so much blogging going on that worrying about totally original ideas is pointless, because someone, somewhere is talking about what you’re talking about, and that’s totally cool! Of course, we all put our own spin on whatever, but I think it’s freeing. Spending so much time blogging has really highlighted the whole mama guilt thing for me, though, because practically any time I spend that isn’t engaging Stella somehow, part of me feels guilty about it. Intellectually, I know I shouldn’t, because I spend all kinds of time reading and talking and nursing and playing, but the guilt lives deep inside. I fight it. It’s an ongoing issue. Anyway, I’ve been having fun with the blog reading, and here’s a few of my recent favorites:

Bitch, Ph.D.
Angry Black Bitch
Susie Bright’s Blog

The hair issue has been coming up again and again for me. I’ve been trying to reconcile with my hair, make peace and get into a new groove. I realized that I’ll be entering back into the professional sphere, and that I need to “do somethin’ with my head” as it were. So I went to Nappturality.com (which is SO AWESOME!), and found some nice natural hair care articles and recipes, and as I was going through it all, I realized the extent to which my hair and me had kind of parted ways.

After I started grad school, I pretty much let my hair go. The program was super-intense, and really, who the fuck has the time? I’ve never been much for hair care - my own personal hairstyling history is one of suffering and humiliation, so I have a deep aversion to dealing with my hair at all. But when I started my dredlocks (or rather, when Vonetta started my dredlocks), I was so happy to be committing to a hair relationship that I could deal with. Fast-forward 7 years, and I’m in school again, busting my ass, wrapping a scarf around my fuzzy roots and fantasizing about having enough time or money to go to a salon and have it taken care of. On top of that, come 2nd semester, I find out I’m pregnant, and proceed to be so exhausted that the idea of washing and twisting my hair seems like a joke.

So, now I’m making up with my hair - we’ve enjoyed a couple of lovely herbal rinses together, some shampooing, olive oil and vigorous scalp massage and scratching. Life is better with a happy scalp and clean, well fed dreds. I’ve also started taking my vitamins again, for healthier scalp, to discourage dandruff.

But I realized, for all of the noble feeling I had about my dreds, I wasn’t taking very good care of them (i.e., me). And after spending time reading the stuff on Nappturality.com, I realized that I was still subjecting myself to unnecessary hair terror. I had convinced myself that taking care of my hair could only be an ordeal, that it was a pain and a nuissance and not worth the time, compared to all of the other important things I was doing. I guess I never quite outgrew that piece of hair trauma, and was applying my old feelings to my new hair situation.

I wrote a paper about this during my final year of undergrad. I was supposed to write about a textile, but I didn’t find one in time, so I figured my hair was interesting enough to pull off a final paper when I was pressed for time. I recently revised the paper, and since I started that, I’ve been coming upon hair stories, connections, etc. Among the blogs I’ve been reading, I’ve read a couple of good stories - one on The Angry Black Woman’s blog, and an excellent post about not touching black women’s hair on Anovelista.com. Then yesterday, I got an email from a friend about a documentary that’s been made on black women’s hair. I’m annoyed, ’cause our computer doesn’t do streaming video so well, so I haven’t been able to finish watching it (Also, it’s in about 5 parts). From what I did see, and from what I read in the comments, there seems to be a lot of focus on how Koreans are taking money from black communities. I can’t comment on exactly what the video says about that, but a comment on the general concept:

For fuck’s sake. Koreans face discrimination in this country - all people of color do in some form. They are no better and no worse than anyone else, and I seriously doubt they’re running a deliberate campaign to keep us down by selling us beauty products. They’re running a deliberate campaign to take care of themselves in a country where they could get screwed at any minute, like the rest of us. If people have seriously problems with Koreans (or any non-black people) selling them beauty supplies, nobody says they have to buy the beauty supplies. Go find a black-owned store. If it’s worth the complaining, it must be worth the extra trip. Or better still, change your lifestyle, stop perming, lose the extensions, the pressing and curling irons, the gels and sprays, etc… Go au natural, save some cash and invest it. Or save up, start your own beauty supply store, and take that money from the people in your own community (because I guess it’s not a waste of our resources if black people sell hair junk to each other). Maybe people should look away from the Koreans (or whomever) and look in there mirror.

Anyway. I actually gotta wrap this up, ’cause we’re going to a birthday party, and I should help with the leaving-house prep. Perhaps I’ll revisit this later on. It’s just been on my mind and I wanted to get my thoughts out.

Peace & hair grease,

Atena

Okay - what really alarms me is this: what kinds of stupid, sadistic bullshit are we not even finding out about?  If this is what makes the news, what horrible and bizarre child abuse secrets are being kept?  Seriously, people, be careful who you leave your kids with.  Go read this article, then come back here.  It’s a short article.

He put the baby in the dryer

Man, what the FUCK? I cannot count the number of ways that this is unacceptable.  I don’t believe this dude’s story for one red hot motherfucking second, and anyone who does needs a good smack.  What kind of world do we live in where someone would actually present this kind of excuse and then get out of jail on bail?  Seriously, someone should put his ass in the dryer "for a couple of minutes."  For the record, if anyone ever attempts any such comparable thing with my child, your ass is so getting kicked.  Be ye warned.

Otherwise, the world keeps on turnin’.  Today is the second anniversary of our wedding.  It’s nice, too, ’cause we actually stayed up late talking last night, about our lives and past relationships and whatnot, and I realized that I totally didn’t want to stop talking.  We did have to cut it short so he could get enough rest for work the next day, plus we were both tired.  But it’s good to be able to hang out and talk all night with the person you share the mundane everydayness of life with.  It’s really great to continue learning and discovering things about each other.  Besides which, my husband continues to be an excellent partner and friend, as well as a very good father.  He’s caring, loving, generally pretty awesome and I’m super glad I married him.  Love you, babe!

Babychild is napping, and I’m expecting a friend to come over with her little girl.  It’s hot out, so I appreciate her being willing to walk over.  It’s nice to have friends in the neighborhood.

Anyway, I should get ready for that.  I might write more later today - if not, I’ll be back bloggin’ soon.

Peace,

Atena

I was engaging in a bit of starfuckery this morning, looking up stuff about Ani DiFranco and her recently announced pregnancy (ohmigod ohmigod - I am SO excited! I know, I know, this pregnancy has absolutely nothing to do with me. I don’t know Ani personally, I may never see her child, she may not turn out to be a good mother, etc., etc… But, ohmigod - I’m STILL so excited!) and I came across some dude’s rocknroll blog. Basically he mentioned her pregnancy, and then went on to suggest that she’s done nothing really worth earning a Women of Courage award (which she received from the National Organization for Women - she announced her pregnancy during her acceptance speech). He then proceeded to make some snide comment about Tori Amos along the same lines, the core message being, these women have done little that is useful, certainly nothing courageous or laudable, nothing worthy of honorable recognition.

Now, of course I realize that opinions are like assholes - everybody’s got one (my mother always says that), but this kind of thing really does get under my skin a bit. Not just with Ani DiFranco and Tori Amos, but with any left-of-center, female artists who do work that either advocates feminism, or owns its sexuality or generally eschews the idea that women in music can only booty shake or sing sweetly about their desire to stay with their boyfriend forever. There’s this pervasive, kind of eye-rolling, smirking thing that happens that I haven’t really heard many good reasons for, and that I suspect has a lot more to do with the fact that these ladies are selling out shows and getting paid to rock out (or groove out, or melodically flow out) while the brohemians and wimpsters stand around smirking, wallowing in their irony. Of course, women do it too - for different reasons I suspect, perhaps a need to distance themselves from any notions of “feminism,” and the mess that it represents, or also possibly a nagging discomfort about whatever makes these performers seem different from themselves. Male or female, there’s a million reasons people can get unecessarily snarky about certain woman artists. I can’t try to name them all.

Celebrities are always getting attention and accolades they don’t necessarily deserve. At least these two women in particular have done activist work for peace, and farmers’ rights, women’s rights, etc. and founded and/or supported organizations that actually help people in tangible ways… And it is courageous to speak out publicly against the crimes of this country’s government, and to continue to speak out (I’m talking about Ani now). As well as to sing about it. It’s so old and so tired, this notion that things are less important and less valuable when a woman does them. And still so prevalent. It’s really unfortunate, too, ’cause when we devalue the contributions that women make, then we shortchange ourselves by underestimating and underutilizing our community resources. We don’t know what we have, and therefore can’t use it. Wasted potential = less progress for the people.

So that’s that. Today we’re chillin’ out. Ian’s off working on a movie shoot. My friend Andrea has introduced me to the wonder of pouring RSS feeds into a central location, so for the next week, I’m gonna be obsessed with finding new blogs. I’m kind of bummed, though, because a lot of the ones that I really want aren’t being accepted by my Yahoo! homepage. Alas, there’s a billion blogs out there, I can find something else I like.

I should probably engage in some homecare. The kitchen is starting to get a bit wild. Gotta make the most of naptime, right? Indeed…

Have a great weekend, everyone! And if you have an RSS homepage, you should feed me in.

Peace,

Atena

Due to the exceedingly, continually developingly disturbing nature of current events, I’m considering renaming this blog ‘Serenity NOW!’ to help me deal with the stress. But only if I can get a soundbite of Jerry Stiller yelling ‘Serenity NOW!’ everytime you open the page.

I’m still kind of amazed that Bill Clinton was run through the mill for cheating on his wife, but G.W. has lied and committed who-knows-how-many clearly, undeniably outright criminal acts which have resulted in the deaths of so many people and he’s still strutting around with no accountability in sight. It must make me seem ridiculously naive, but still… I can’t help it.

I think this is a good indicator of the power of sex in the public sphere. It inflames so many issues, creating a domino effect of fire, blazing the hell out of whatever we happen to be talking about. We know that most of these politicians have a regular afternoon appointment with their favorite working girl, or they’re offering their time and money to some talented amateurs. Or you have freaks like South Dakota’s Bill Napoli, who’s secret skeletons are probably more alarming than I care to imagine (what kind of person goes on national television and says that to qualify for an abortion, a young woman would have to be brutally raped — as opposed to the gentle, understanding rape we all hope for — including being sodomized? How does sodomy earn you the right to abortion? Ahhhhhh!). It’s deeper than hypocrisy. It’s more dangerous, I think. Because it sets us up for a system where in the public arena, a blow job is a bigger threat to the United States than the alienation of the rest of the world and the killing of thousands.

Sex is clearly not the only issue at work here. But how our government handles its business creates the framework for what the public citizens of this nation deem as acceptable or unacceptable, right or wrong; as legal or illegal.

Clearly, we as a nation have few qualms about demonizing and criminalizing sexuality. Remember in 1994 when Dr. Jocelyn Elders lost her job as FUCKING SURGEON GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES after suggesting that masturbation be taught about in schools? There are legislators who are right now trying to criminalize the sale of sex toys. And really - how does it make sense that porn is legal and prostitution is not? And then there’s the occupied territory that is our bodies. Women’s reproductive decisions are fought over in a kind of civil war, be it the prevention and/or termination of pregnancy or how pregnancy and birth are carried out - there are some people out there doing their damnedest to draw a thin red line that regulates how human reproduction is managed in the arena of the female body, and anything outside of that line becomes a felony.

Speaking of which - the fucking ‘Child Custody Protection Act’… God Damn It. You know, it’s my plan that in the future, if my daughter should end up with a pregnancy as a teen, that she would come to us (her parents) with it, and that we’d help her work it out. In this day and age, that a fucking lot to hope for. You don’t always have that. If you can’t, thank God if there’s another trustworthy adult who can help you.

Would it be illegal for another underage person to take them across state lines? I’d love it if a movement of 16 and 17-year-old kids started a Planned Parenthood Carpool Network… Ideally for general birth control and sex ed options so they could avoid abortions (I mean, why have one if you don’t have to?). I’m totally convinced that with more comprehensive sexuality education, the number of abortions sought will go down.

I have to go pump and shower and stuff. I will leave you with this: If you believe that what is happening in this country and the rest of the world is fucked up, then SAY SOMETHING about it. Consider it a homework assignment: Say something, make some vocal statement or visible action about how you feel. Dissent must been heard or seen if it’s going to make any difference. If no one hears it or sees it, then it can’t do anyone any good. Say something to someone who may not or does not agree. Let someone know that you agree with them. We have to connect. I give you a week to complete this assignment. Everyone who completes it gets an ‘A’. Creativity earns an ‘A+ ‘.

I’ll present the results of my assignment next week - please come prepared to share yours as well. Good luck with your audible, visible dissent.

Love,

Atena

So, I’m feeling less generally distressed than yesterday. Still upset about what looks like world war three shaping up, but I feel good. Stella and I are having a nice day together - she’s napping right now, though.

I found 2 more podcasts that I really like. Melissa Gira’s ‘whorecast,’ and Ellie Lumpesse’s ‘Bedroom Radio with Ellie.’ Both very smart, good content. Whorecast is my new favorite - there’s just so much to like about it. I highly encourage you to go check it out.

whorecast - melissagira.com

Bedroom Radio with Ellie - lumpesse.com

I found them ’cause I was reading Susie Bright’s blog, which referred to a sex bloggers’ conference, where Melissa Gira is a panelist, and I was looking for info on another panelist, and did a search for ’smart sexy,’ and while the podcast I was looking for did not come up, ‘Bedroom Radio with Ellie’ did. And then when I was listening to that, the host talked about how much she likes Melissa Gira’s podcast. Full circle. I guess.

So I’ve been listening to those and playing with Stella and reading and stuff. One of the episodes on Gira’s show is called ‘The Virtues of Fake Women,’ and I think it deserves the podcast version of a Grammy. She discusses how women are judged as being “fake” based on appearances and demeanor, (like strippers who are highly made up, or sex workers with “unrealistic” bodies, etc.) and Gira decries this ‘fake labeling’ as being problematic and harmful. So I’ve been thinking about that all afternoon.

I agree that calling women (or any other human beings) fake has little potential to be helpful or healing in any way. My thinking is that we do this because among other things, it is a way to resist the image industry’s constant barrage of propaganda that suggests that we’re not good enough in whatever form is natural to us, and that makes a business out of creating and promoting low self-esteem and unrealistic expectations - especially in girls and women. Attacking models and strippers and dancers in music videos is a way that we try to defend and protect ourselves.

But here again, I think that we’re misdirecting our frustration. Gira makes the excellent point that to deny that a person is real makes it easier to deny them rights. If we talk about how certain people are less real than others, aren’t we setting up a scenario that suggests that those people are less valuable, artificial, copies of people, not as worthy as the “real” ones? I’ve heard it so many times (and admittedly, said it a number of times): “Those women aren’t real; the models in this magazine look like real women; God, she looks so fake…” We can easily forget how powerful language can be. What does it really mean to call another person ‘fake’? How do you treat a ‘fake’ person? How does that person feel to be considered ‘fake’?

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve often decried artifice in appearance. But now that I think of it, I’ve also thoroughly enjoyed “artifice” in appearance in a number of situations. I’ve dyed my hair, gotten extensions. I’ve worn make up - I wasn’t born with red lips. I’ve work high heels and platforms, I’ve worn push-up bras.

I think the root of what upsets me about “fakeness” in terms of women’s appearance that that there is usually a foundation of sexism and racism beneath it all, and at the worst of times, some woman’s “fakeness” reminds me of sexist, sometimes racist oppression. As well as other forms of oppression. Seeing models with the thin bodies in tiny clothes makes me wonder how many women are disappointed with themselves about not having that kind of body, and how much money was made off of their poor self-image? Seeing black women with freshly sprayed and curled perms sometimes makes me think of how much value is placed on “white-like” characteristics among so many black people (lightness of skin, straightness of hair), an more specifically how I have personally been treated due to the lack of these characteristics. Clearly these larger issues are not the fault of the women who represent them to me. But, you know, kill the messenger.

Anyway, my brain is full of these thoughts and I’m enjoying the challenge it presents. I pride myself of being sex-positive, but I’ve been slower about figuring out how to be fully sex worker-positive - even when I was a sex worker. When I was a domme, I’d make cracks about strippers, and distance myself from the idea that my work was in any way related to prostitution. But that kind of behavior does nothing to promote positive change in the industry. So I’m being more careful about how I talk about sex workers. And not using the word ‘whore’ as a blanket insult toward women (or anyone, really). I’ve met and talked to enough strippers to know that my initial ideas about them were unfounded. And I’ll take this attitude to the streets and encourage people not to be derisive toward or about sex workers. That’s where I find the hardest bit of activism happens for me with any issue: beyond living out my ideals, actually encouraging others to see the value of such ideals and naming ways to alter their behavior. Ian brought this home for me on the issue of female chauvinism, and I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to act on that and vocally combat sexism against males.

Well, I better make the best of this suspiciously long naptime and fold some laundry. I’ll write more when I can.

Atena Oyadi

I cannot believe.

The way the world is going
I do not want to believe.
Not yet in my lifetime have I known
such dangerous games.
Politics on the playground
of the most dangerous kind of people -
again and again I think, “How
can we? How can we?”
I see no reason to be optimistic,
but I’m hoping, out of habit I suppose.
That something at the heart of
humanity will surprise us,
and that something good will come.

I don’t care who did what to whom. It is wrong.

To be killing people, so many women, children and men who have nothing to do with the military or the government,

people who are just trying to live their lives… It is not right.

If it’s not obvious enough, I’m talking about what’s happening with the Israeli military bombing the life out of Lebanon, killing entire civilian families and now invading with ground troops.

CAN YOU IMAGINE if bombs starting dropping over Chicago’s infrastructure - the Dan Ryan, the CTA, Midway Airport - if some country (or countries) started killing us all in response to some criminal thing George Bush, or the military or Corporate America did to them? CAN YOU IMAGINE your friends and family and loved ones being obliterated as they are held accountable for the actions of the corrupt powers that be?

The very idea gives me chills. And all of this violence and entitlement and hatred hurts my heart.

I don’t care what anyone says, THIS IS NOT RIGHT. It is criminal and it should be stopped.

I keep thinking of my daughter - what if… The dizzying array of ‘what ifs’ can barely be approached. I don’t even want to think of it, I just can’t help it. What if I had to grab her up and run like hell away from our home? What if all hell broke loose while Ian was at work and I couldn’t find him? What if we were attacked, desperate and dying, and no one else in the world cared enough to do anything?

These are not new ideas, of course. Someone always seems to be trying to eliminate someone else. I’ve had these thoughts before. But to see how publicly these criminal acts are being purpotrated, I think I’m right to comment on how awful and alarming it is.

Pray for peace. Speak out for peace. Take action for peace. And take care of yourselves.

Love,

Atena Oyadi

Alright - Breastfeeding Campaign…

So, again it begins with a podcast - Mojo Mom this time. I like listening to it, they have some good conversations and flesh out ideas that are relevant to my circumstances. This is the best mom-related podcast I was able to find yesterday in the iTunes directory. Anyway, I went to the Mojo Mom website (mojomom.com) to nose around and look at the creator’s blog. The lastest blog post was about the recent US Department of Health ads to promote breastfeeding. Amy was expressing her outrage at how they were trying to scare women into breastfeeding.

Alright. After 5 years of being a staunch and sometimes militant breastfeeding advocate (I was, at one point, a certified lactation counselor — not the same as a lactation consultant), I think I’ve settled into a pretty reasonable, fairly radical, but less judgemental stance on breastfeeding and breastfeeding advocacy. It is clearly the best thing for any child, and there are precious few circumstances where opting to formula feed are better. But formula is the feeding choice of the culture right now, and many wonderful, healthy people were fed formula as infants.

It is high time for the public health advocates to do more to promote breastfeeding and the consumption of human milk. If you learn more about the topic, you actually learn that this is a public health issue, and that evidence shows that not only is breastmilk better for babies, but that formula is actually not so great for babies. It’s obviously not deadly, but it’s not great.

And now, this is the point where someone admonishes “You shouldn’t make women feel bad about not breastfeeding.” I find this extremely annoying, because as it happens so often with women, important discussions are curtailed because there’s a chance someone might feel bad. We get set against each other in these stupid ‘Mommy War’ factions that are based on personal circumstances and choices, losing sight of the bigger picture (as well as our common enemies) which usually involves capitalism and insufficient public policy. So, I’m sorry if I’m making you feel bad. My goal is to address facts about politics, breastfeeding and nutrition. Sometimes we feel bad about facts. I’ll do my best to be tactful.

First, consider the purpose of infant formula. It exists purely to be sold and create profit. It is made by pharmaceutical companies (yes, it is), regulated by the FDA, sold by major food companies, for profit. If it did not make profits, it would not be produced and distributed nearly as much as it is. Now, for the purposes of feeding babies, what reasons does anyone have to trust these groups? Knowing what we know about the pharmaceutical industry, the FDA, the food companies - what evidence do we have that they want the best for our children. I say none. This is the same industry that gives us Lunchables to feed our kids. Nutrition ahoy!

I cannot claim to be objective without stating that sometimes formula supplementation is necessary. I must also state that the risks associated with infant formula are not always necessarily direct results of formula feeding. The research cited regarding breastfeeding and formula feeding is rife with confusion over causation and correlation. Just because a risk (or benefit, for that matter) is associated, doesn’t mean it’s a cause-and-effect relationship.

Anyway, coming back to the ads… My understanding is that the process of creating these ads has been pretty sketchy. I cannot cite my sources right now - I read an article about this, I think on the HipMama website in the news archive. My understanding is that the people in charge of creating these ads consulted heavily with executives in the formula industry. Now why would that be? I can’t imagine… Or can I? These ads were supposed to come out about 3 or 4 years ago - some of the doulas in the local doula community were really up at arms about the delay. Anyway, promotion of breastfeeding has always been spun to discuss the benefits of breastfeeding, as opposed to any potential risks of formula. They are two distinct issues that both deserve to be addressed. Talking about one is not the same as talking about the other.

Anyway, I do have a point - maybe a couple of points:
- No, women should not be intentionally scared into breastfeeding. But, consider how fear is used to get people to immunize their children. Think about how we treat families that opt not to immunize. And study the facts on breastfeeding and immunizations before you claim there’s no comparison.

- I believe that familes should be encouraged and supported to provide breastmilk for their babies and young children. I believe that the government needs to be more aggressive about this than they have been, given the associated and proven health benefits (which include increased effectiveness of immunizations).

- I suspect that the government campaign to promote breastfeeding is less than it could be, and I suspect that it’s no accident.

The fact is that in our culture, what people know about breastfeeding, most of them learned it from TV or anecdotes from other people who didn’t know much about it. I’m not here to tell you that formula is dangerous, but I’m not going to tell you it’s safe, either. Take nothing for granted. If you happen to see any of these ads (I haven’t yet), remember, there’s a lot of politics and big business wrapped up in the topic. And as a group, Americans are abysmally undereducated about the ways we feed our young.

Stella’s getting pissed, so I have to wrap this up. Educate yourselves. Please comment - I think I’ll be coming back to this topic again later, ’cause there’s so much to say.

Love,

Atena McMama